If you're dealing with a big problem in your life at the moment - such as difficulties in your marriage - chances are you're finding that trying to solve it is a real struggle.
But the reality is that struggling is counter-productive.
The more you struggle to heal your marriage, the worse the problems will become.
And the faster and further you'll push your spouse away.
Are you finding this to be the case? If so, why is this?
It's because struggle creates "bad feelings".
And bad feelings only make things worse.
When you struggle, you're worried, stressed and anxious.
And that gets you to do things like: trying to talk to your spouse about the problem, trying to change their mind, pleading with them, promising them you'll change, trying hard to please them, "walking on eggshells" around them....
And all of these things only make them feel worse about you!
So you need to give up the struggle.
And replace it instead with effort.
And there is a big difference - and that difference is underlying FEAR.
When you're not afraid of the future - with or without your spouse - you'll start to do the right things to heal your relationship:
Like listening to them, respecting their point of view, not trying to change their mind and having your conversations revolve around the good things in life rather than the problems.
All the time knowing (rather than hoping) that no matter what happens everything will turn out just fine for you!
Not only will you feel better - but you'll make them feel better too. Better about themselves, your marriage, and you.
Getting rid of the fears you have about your problems is critical to solving them.
And in my coaching programs I show you exactly how to get rid of your fears.
It's not that difficult. You don't need to spend years in therapy.
You can do it. And you must do it to have any hope of solving the problems.
I have a number of coaching programs on my website that include this. The most popular are:
- Stop Your Divorce (When Your Spouse Doesn't Want To)
- Save Your Marriage: Relationship Transformation
- Re-Balance Your Brain for Success (with NSR)
Put your efforts into getting rid of your fears of the future. You'll not only start doing the right things (and stop doing the wrong things), you'll be a better person to be around. And you'll enjoy life more too.
And that is what will fix your problems - without struggle.
