What do you do when you want to save your marriage from divorce but your spouse doesn't want to?
If you're in that situation you'll know this is a really big problem. How do you reason with your husband or wife when they simply don't want to be in the marriage anymore? If they have told you they want a separation or divorce and have moved on, either physically and/or emotionally, they might not only be unwilling to stay, but you trying to stop them from going may well make them angry and make matters even worse.
Fortunately, there is a way to get your spouse to change their mind, but it does require a different approach to what most people do. However, the right approach can be very effective in saving your marriage.
There are many reasons why your spouse might not want to be as committed as you are (or even hostile) to saving your marriage. Here are the most common; see which of these best describes your situation:
- Your spouse himself or herself might think that your marriage cannot be saved. Perhaps you’ve tried counseling and it didn't work (or perhaps it even made things worse, which is often the case). Your spouse might simply have given up on trying before you have.
- Your spouse might think that you don't want to save your marriage. It could be that they think that you’ve given up as well and they’ve got to the stage of agreeing with you.
- Your spouse might be tired of all of the unpleasantness that seems to be in your marriage. You are probably both feeling stressed and emotionally wrung out. So they might be thinking that it would just be easier to call it quits and simply walk away from the whole thing.
- Your spouse might be feeling very bitter and hurt. Perhaps you’ve done something that has hurt them and they just can't forgive you for it. You might have had an affair, been emotionally abusive or betrayed their trust in other ways. It seems that no matter what you do, you can't convince them that you are sorry for what has happened.
- Your spouse might not feel attracted to you any longer. They might be saying to you, “I love you, but I'm not in love with you.” (If they are saying this to you, this is a classic sign of lack of attraction; we will cover how to deal with this later.)
- Your spouse might have moved on emotionally. They might have had an affair or they might actually be currently having an affair. They might be involved with somebody else. They could have even moved out or are making plans to move out.
These are just some of the reasons why often when a marriage is in trouble, one person wants to save it and is really desperate to save it and the other person just isn’t interested.
However, there is some good news. If you are that person who really wants to save your marriage, and your husband or wife doesn't want to, there are strategies that you can apply that can make a difference. If you do the right things you will get the result you want; you just have to know what the right things are.
If you would like to learn the most effective way to save your marriage and stop divorce listen to my free podcast on my website growinginloveforlife.com.
Also enrol in my 7-Day "Stop Your Divorce" program, the most effective step-by-step plan that will show you how to save your marriage.
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